Journal of a homeless man

Most of you know that I spent last week living as a homeless man in Chicago. I kept journals and writings while I was there in order to keep the memories.

My journals and writing from my time on the street can be found on my ministry blog

bensywamblog.blogspot.com

Thank you guys for your interest
-B3n

Homeless in Chicago

Maybe I and just crazy, or maybe I'm on to something. This next week I will be living homeless in Chicago. I won't have my cell or credit cards on me. Just trying to survive and learn from the experience.
About this time last year God put it on my heart to do this. After a year of planning and planning it is finally here. I don't know what is in store, but I am sure that God will put people and experience in the way for me. I feel like this is where I am supposed to go, God has out peace in my mind about the trip.
It is still going to cost me money to get there but very little will be needed for finances otherwise.
As far as support I really need your prayers for me on this trip. I am not worried about the trip but it definitely needs to be bathed in prayer.
Next week I will be daily posting my journal on the blog. I figure it would be good to keep a daily journal of what goes on and I will put that up for all of you to read. Pray for my safety, my ministry and connecting with people on the street, safety traveling for me and my girlfriend who is bringing me.

Thank you all for your support and prayers, let's see what God does.
God bless
-B3n

My folding truck

My Rose

Trapped in this desert, a barren land.
living in the gloom, surrounded by sand.
however shall I find a thriving oasis,
a relieving place to free me from this stasis.
Am I stuck in this hole to wander alone?
Is this the place I have been sown?
what is this beautiful flower? a Rose?
rare glory deserving of great prose.
how can something so divine be here?
know this marvelous gain is you my dear.
feels like a dream to find a woman so fair
in a place where such things come so rare.
you are a God given gift so far above the norm,
worth holding on to through every trial, trouble and storm.
how did I ever deserve this treasure? my Rose.

Hands

One Girl I "dated" used to say I have the ultimate "man hands". Dry, covered in scars, deformed at parts and often bleeding from cuts and dried scars; they are the ultimate tool of a working man. My hands have been through everything like; being bitten, scraped, burned, cut, broken, and more. The most noticeable part being the scars across the top of my knuckles.( thus giving me the nickname "knuckles")

Every year about winter time my hands start to dry out from the weather. Since the skin on my knuckles is scar tissue it dries out the worst. When dry, scar tissue is very hard to get moisturized and keep it there. Once the cold and dry weather sets in my hands are done for; the knuckles dry out and crack open. This brings me a lot of pain having open knuckles with all I do to my hands. Chemicals, hot water, and just about anything that touches my hand amplifies the pain felt by the open wounds across the back of the hand. There have been many nights I have not been able to get to sleep because my hands hurt so bad. It sucks working at a coffee shop and dealing with hot liquids and chemicals all the time.

A person uses their hands so much how could you help but be reminded of the wounds you have.

With our hands we inflict and receive pain to others. We use them to build and destroy the physical, they are the means to interact with material things. I just thought of a little prayer about my hands to say during my problems

"God,
Here are my hands; broken, imperfect and hurting.
Seems they are not too far off from what I was and currently am.
Lord, that in my pain it would remain a reminded of what you have done for me.
That in my pain I would be something that sets my heart to bring peace and love to others.
Oh, my hands are because of what they have been through, not too different from what I now am.
Thank you, even for the pain. You are good."

Marvel comics angers tea baggers.

Let me start of with a laugh......hahahahahahahahahahahahaha! Okay, now that thats out of my system let me explain.

I work part time (might as well be considered full time) at a local coffee shop here in Lima, Ohio. On the side of the shop we have a conference room that we rent out to groups in the community. We have one group in particular that really gets on my last nerve, The Allen County Patriots.

The Allen County Patriots are an extremely Right-wing group that meets in here on thursday nights. The only thing I like about them is when one member tells them to, they tip really well. There are a few people in the group who seen to be really great people, but most of them are what I would label as nuts. I have had a few different private conversations with a bunch of them and I find them at best to be very homophobic, racist, one sided, religiously blind, ignorant and more that I will not say in order to keep this PG. Remember gay Pepsi coke guy? (from a post a few months ago) ya, thats the constant foolish thinking I deal with in this group.

Now don't get me wrong, I am not a liberal, nor am I conservative. I find that both sides take their thinking to extremes and are too one sided for me.

There is not one person of the considerable "minority" in their group. It is very understandable considering their racist point of view. I wanted to announce to the group one day that if they want and feel more comfortable; "we will allow them to wear their bed sheets and pillow cases as long as they don't set anything on fire". As the manager, this would most likely just get me fired, especially since 2 of the 4 owners are part of this group.



Marvel Comics' Captain America has always been fighting for the American way of life against all who would threaten to destroy it (No Bush is not the same person). In a new comic released by Marvel Captain America is trying to investigate along with his African-American sidekick the Falcon a right-wing anti-government group called "the watchdogs". He sends Falcon to watch them from the rooftops at a tea-party protest. He realizes that trying to be with the group an infiltrate them will not work with a "black man from Harlem fitting in with a bunch of angry white folks".



This comic has sparked much controversy with multiple tea-party groups for the depiction of their organizations. Thought not completely true of all of them, so far from what I have seen it is not too far off from the truth. United States of America? I think not, the states are but the people are not. Why did is stir up such controversy and anger? Maybe it is questionable because its not too far off from the truth.


I found the article on Yahoo!

P.S. the group announced once that they should start working in conjunction with the Allen County Tea-Baggers. I thought they said the wrong thing. I just recently learned what a tea-bagger really was in that situation. Being from a younger generation with video games to tea-bag is a completely different action. lol. I would like to tea-bag the tea-baggers. ROFL!!!

Christianity, a religion of seclusion?

Not to burst your bubble, but it seems to me that it needs to be popped.........Oh God, that my words would come out kindly.

I am in the middle of reading a book called Un-christian by David Kinnaman and Gabe Lyons. They work for the Barna group doing research and taking stats of different ideas or issues. This book is all about what outsiders think of Christianity, how/what to changes it to, and what biblically should be the perspective that people have of our ideas and actions. Each chapter deals with different issues that are viewed of modern day American Christians. He deals with six of the main complaints against christians; Hypocritical, anti-homosexual, too political, judgmental, and our topic for tonight Sheltered.

I was discussing with Dan the beard about how I was annoyed with how christianity in America had become more of a secluded subculture than a following of beliefs. Think about it! We become so secluded that we don't Understand or know the world that is around us.

sub·cul·ture: A cultural subgroup differentiated by status, ethnic background, residence, religion, or other factors that functionally unify the group and act collectively on each member.

se⋅clud⋅ed; 1. sheltered or screened from general activity, view, etc.: a secluded cottage., 2. withdrawn from or involving little human or social activity: a secluded life.

With this definition there is nothing wrong with christianity being considered a sub-culture, but when it becomes one that is secluded and sheltered it becomes a problem. We go from one sheltered Christian activity or dwelling to the next. The beginning of the week we start out with church, then monday off to our jobs (often staying seperated with the other Christians there), Monday night bible study, Wednesday night service, etc. You get the picture, its not hard to see what i'm talking about.

Much of the world doesn't know what we are/should be about because of the religious seclusion we have that keeps us separated from them all the time. When Christians are the ones doing something in the world then they can be the ones who influence its spiritual direction. "When Christians shelter themselves, letting "someone else" answer the world's doubts and address its problems, they abdicate their biblical role to be spiritual influencers." When we are closed off from the world we have no influence on it.

My biggest problem is when we come from a secluded lifestyle it is obvious to those we are trying to witness to. If they already don't like you because of your being sheltered, why would they want to listen to you? What makes you think that you can have any effect on what they think? People often wonder why I have such large holes in my ears (gauges). I have them because I find them to be something that is well defining of my style, I enjoy having them, and they open me up to a wider variety of people than the average slacks and tie christian. If a person can quickly stereotype and categorize you under a label that is narrow minded and bigoted they will not listen to what you have to say. Christianity is has secluded it self to the point where a stereotypical thought is not too far off from the norm. Is it only a belief of a certain type of people, or did Christ come to save all people he created of all race, personality and style?

The idea of in the world but not of it seems to come from John 17:13-19. How can live by this when we are neither being in the world or of it? The more I read the more i notice that Christ did not hang out with the religious groups of the time, but that of shunned sinners. He did not scorn or push away those who needed to know the love of God in order to be with those who already knew him. He chastised the priests for being too caught up in the religion and details, and yet we live maintaining a secluded religious lives concerned about details more than the big picture.

Romans 12:2!

This may not have been the greatest rant ever, but I think it served its purpose.

Now the question is not what you have learned, but What are you going to do with it!
-B3[\]